Today is the day that I'm told as a Mum, I should have been counting down to since my little boy was born. Today is the day I'm supposed to simultaneously burst with pride and dissolve in tears. Today is the day my oldest son starts school.
And so far I've concluded there must be something wrong with me - I just don't seem to have had the run up of teary emotions that others have. I don't have any pangs about wanting to turn back the years or wondering where my baby went. I didn't choke up as I labelled up his uniform (last minute of course).
I realise that my situation is a little different and for me today isn't just my little boy's first day at school. It marks a huge personal achievement for me. I'm so very happy that I'm here to take his first day of school photos. I'm so chuffed that it's me who gets to walk him to school and pick him up (armed with all the snacks) afterwards. If there are tears today they will be happy ones as I'm so pleased that I'm here to be part of this huge "first".
But I've also been determined not to become so overwhelmed by this milestone and whatever significance it does or doesn't hold for me and him, that I don't enjoy experiencing it. I don't know how many firsts I will get to share. I don't know how many school drop off and pick ups I will get to do. But then do any of us really? Today isn't about me - it's about James and his first experience of school. So I'm going to drop him off, hope he has fun, enjoy a cup of coffee and slice of cake in peace and look forward to hearing all about it later!