KNIT

I think I must be the only person who is secretly pleased that the weather hasn't completely warmed up so that Thomas may get a little bit of wear out of these.  I'm not a seasonal knitter.  I knit as and when - that could be summer or winter meaning I often finish items at the wrong time of year.  I wrote in my last post that there were lots of things I made that I've never recorded here so this is a little catch up together with some musings on knitting.

I learnt to knit when I was at primary school and I still remember the teacher who called us all Miss Tight Boots as our knitting was always too tight.  The wool was red and scratchy and I made a scarf that never got worn!  Then when I was pregnant with my first baby I developed an overwhelming urge to knit all the tiny baby things.  I managed a few little baby hats for James before he was born and a few bigger toddler ones since.  The teal green one below was a pattern from the lovely Nat.

I've had my fair share of disastrous knitting projects too.  I spent an Easter at home at my parents being so chuffed at all the free childcare help which gave me free time to knit James what I thought was a lovely jumper.  I sewed it all up and went to try it on and it wouldn't go over his head, not even close.  Everyone thought it was hilarious but I was gutted.  I ended up leaving it behind with Mum who cleverly added some buttons so we could get it over his (not that large) head!

A second pregnancy meant I wanted to knit all the tiny baby things again and this time I had progressed to tiny cardigans and bootees.

Thomas was tiny and his wardrobe of beautifully knitted cardigans was way to big for him at first and I was desperate for him to grow to fit into them before the weather got too warm.

Like my addiction to most crafts, my rediscovery of knitting was fuelled by the beautiful materials you can now buy to create with.  The huge selection and beautiful colours of modern wools are a long way from my first itchy scarlet red scarf.

Just recently I've been knitting a little more again.  Just simple patterns.  A little at a time.  Much has been written about the therapeutic benefits of craft and knitting in particular.  The soothing repetitive nature of easy knit and purl is calming.  It requires just enough concentration to occupy my mind and stop it wondering onto things it doesn't need to worry about right now but not so much so as to tire it out.  It also provides the perfect portable distraction for all the waiting I do for appointments.  And then after a while you have a beautiful handmade object to keep or gift.  

REFLECTIONS

It's a long time since I've written anything here and a lot has happened in that time: 

•  I've had another baby boy (who is now 1!)
•  I've made 8 quilts (mostly small baby ones)
•  I've had a promotion at work 
•  I've knitted 7 things (some tiny baby things and finally some things for me)
•  I've been diagnosed with incurable cancer 

Tiny Thomas

Some of these things have meant that blogging has taken a back seat. In fact I actually came on here a month or so ago intending to close down this blog. But instead I started really thinking around why I stopped blogging. Lots has been written about how the instant gratification of Instagram has led to the decline of blogging.  For me that is partially true but the bottom line is that I just I felt this blog just didn't reflect me and who I now am anymore. 

I started blogging as a way of recording things that I had made (especially as most of them get given away) and through it found an amazing online community.  At the time I had lots of spare time and was able to spend hours sewing, reading quilting magazines and browsing lovely fabric websites. I didn't quite believe it when people started following and commenting back. But I still tried to remain true to my reason for blogging - an online diary and voice - rather than writing posts attempting to please others or gain more followers. But with the shift in my life over the past couple of years I no longer have much time for creating. In addition to this some of the treatment I receive affects my hands and my ability to sew or knit at times. So I thought as I didn't have anything to contribute a lot of the time I should just close this old blog down. But then I thought about the amazing sewing community who I would miss, about not having somewhere to record what I am able to create and most importantly no longer having somewhere to put my thoughts down. 

A visit from my oldest online sewing buddy Justine and the lovely Katy!

So instead I've decided to keep this blog, to try and do some catch up posts on what I've made recently and to maybe even write some new posts which better reflect who I am and what's important in my life at the moment. I don't plan on this becoming a "mum blog" or a "cancer blog" or a "lifestyle blog" (not that there's anything wrong with any of these as blogs!) I also don't want to build a huge following or turn my blog into an income source. I just want a space that is mine, that reflects me and right now that's a mix of a whole lot of different things. 

So what is important to me now? What exactly does represent who I am now? I still love to sew, knit, cook and bake when I can. And of course I love my boys and the little people they are becoming more than anything in the world. Since I was diagnosed I've developed a new appreciation for the little things, the simple pleasures in life. I don't have a bucket list that involves jumping out of planes or seeing far flung places. Instead I decided to focus on slowing down, appreciating each day, finding joy in the smallest things, using little treats to turn around even the most rubbish of days. My Instagram account is full of the little things that have made me smile in the last 6 months - my boys, flowers, cake, books, things I've made, coffee, places I've been. 

So I'm hoping on expanding all this here and making it a place where I have more space to write and one that truly reflects who I am now.